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Phillip: Good afternoon everyone and welcome to the 20th SMIS (Stupid Men in Springfield) meeting. I am your president, Phillip Spaulding. Hart Jessup would you like to read the minutes from our last meeting? Hart: I'm sorry Phillip remember the meeting was ended because Beth called you home to fix her broken nail. It kept you busy all day. Phillip: Oh yeah that's right. I wonder if she is ok? I better go run and check to see if she is in much pain...Josh would you take over as Vice president? Thanks! Josh: Sure Phillip. Hart: Hey Josh how is Reva? She hasn't been herself lately! Josh: Oh Hart she is FINE let me tell you!! (nudge nudge wink wink). She has been acting like her old self more and more! It's amazing some of the things she has been bringing up lately! It's almost like she is her old self again! But she has changed and I must remember that!! But in bed the other night....I could have SWORN she was her old self! How are things with Dinah? Hart: That's great Josh. Things are swell with Dinah. The baby was born last week! Its funny, it kind of looks like he is just staring off into space like there is nothing going on inside his head. He looks like Dinah though!!! Funny, I didn't know blue eyes ran in my family. If I didn't know any better I would say this baby isn't mine!! But I know it's mine even if I don't remember conceiving the baby. I still can't figure out why Cassie won't talk to me. Josh: Too bad Hart. Maybe she broke a nail and Phillip can fix hers too! He is good with women. He can take care of more than one! Phillip: Ok guys I am back. Harley just hung up on me. This is very odd!!! I said that I had to cancel our date because Beth needs me.....and she hung up! Selfish woman!!! Oh well anyways, I have you all here tonight to announce a new member to our circle. Jesse come on in!!! Jesse: Hi Guys. I am so excited to be here. But why was I picked? Phillip: Only the very elite of Springfield's men get picked. You fit the description. Tell us about your dilemma. Jesse: Well.....uh......see I am really mad at Michelle. She is acting really mean. And well...Drew is being really nice!!! She knows Michelle better than I do anyway.....Michelle was making fun of Drew when she was offering her condolences about her father!!! How rude of her. But it's just like Michelle to do that!! Anyways...Michelle wants me back but I like Drew now. I like to fix Drews broken nails...it turns me on! Phillip: Now thats my boy! I have seen that nice Drew girl. What a sweetie. Hart: Yah Michelle is just selfish! Drew is an angel. Josh: Jesse I can see you will be a lovely addition to our intimate circle. Our motto is "Be unaware of the obvious and always carry nail clippers!" Jesse: I just don't understand why Michelle is so mad! Drew is so nice! Phillip: It's okay Jesse. We members never try to understand what our women feel. Here everyone....pass these around!!! Jesse: What are these? Phillip, Hart, and Josh in unision: Blindfolds!!!!!! Phillip: Now lets go out there and disregard the obvious just like the men we should be!!!!!! [All the men cheer.] Adjourned!!!! |
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